ramanda's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feel the weight of this passing time 02.23.01 Had dinner tonight with Harmony and Mike at a kitchsy chain restaurant. Ate more than I have in a long time. It was good. I don�t spend enough time with them and I often forget how much I like sitting at a table with them � drinking and laughing and eating. It reminds me of high school; of the Walper pub, those fuzzy green chairs, the warm pints of Keith�s and ashtrays full of cigarette ends, theirs brown, mine white with that lovely minty green stripe, stained with my lipstick. We talked about nothing special really, Mike bitched about work, Harmony bitched about life in general (although we all know she�s really really happy with her boy and her puppy and her pretty little house). I told stories about boys and about drinking and they smiled and laughed incredulously because my life is so far from theirs. I�ll never regret my relationship with Harmony and Mike - the eternal couple. They represent for me, a loss of innocence, but a gain in experience, in life and in love. They�re good, good people. They work hard for what they want and that�s admirable. They�re worried about me though. They want to see me settle down with a nice guy and start thinking more seriously about my future. They�re like parents. It�s kinda cute. I worry a little sometimes about my role in our relationship. I worry that they see me as forever the single girl, on my own, living the highlife, smoking 100�s and taking cabs uptown. My life through their eyes seems touched with the glitter of self-destruction. Our priorities are so different they find it hard to see the way I live my life as fully acceptable. Perhaps it�s not, but I like it well enough. Eventually I�ll settle down, rent an apartment, buy a car, get a loan and a �serious� boyfriend and drink beer with them on their back porch. For now though � I really like being 22 and free of pretty much any responsibility. Pass your classes, get a good job for co-op, try not to get thrown out of the bars, pay your Visa bill. That�s about all the responsibility I want right now � whether Harm and Mike understand it or not. It's hard though - it's hard to be happy with your life when the people who love you are telling you not to settle for less. - A - 2001-02-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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