ramanda's Diaryland Diary


the time has come, the walrus said



I think I�m finished here. I think I might have finally reached my breaking point with this whole online diary business. I don�t know where it came from, or why, but two days shy of the third anniversary of my first entry here in diaryland, and everything in me is telling me that it�s time to let it go.

I came here looking for solace, for a place to record the tangled, confused strands of thought and emotion that kept me up at night. And for three years I loved this place, the things I was able to express, the friends I made, the comfort I took in the words you wrote to me. But lately it�s more about trying to be funny, to put on a show, to impress, than it is about getting out what it�s in my head. I�m tired of feeling responsible to write things here for people other than myself. It�s time to turn the page.

Thank you all for the smiles and the tears and the kind words year after year. You guys fucking rock and please don�t take it personally that it�s time for me to start doing this for me again.

I will go on writing. And I will definitely go on reading what you guys write. But as of Monday this page will be locked. I need to be able to put down my thoughts and emotions in a place that is quiet and safe. I�m too lazy to write in a paper journal. I�m too tired to move this one elsewhere. This is my space and I�m taking it back.

You�ve got to pick up the pieces
C�mon, sort your trash
You better pull yourself back together
Maybe you�ve got too much cash
Better call, call the law
When you gonna turn yourself in, yeah?
You�re a politician
Don�t become one of Hitler�s children

Bonzo goes to Bitburg
Then goes out for a cup of tea
As I watched it on TV
Somehow it really bothered me
Drank in all the bars in town
For an extended foreign policy
Pick up the pieces

My brain is hanging upside down
I need something to slow me down.

I will be here if you need me. And if you want to know how I am, what I�m up to, just drop me an email: ramanda at diaryland dot com.

yours, always

2:31 p.m. - 02.14.04


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