ramanda's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- did I ever tell you about the time? 04.10.05 9:45pm About 48 hours after I got them, the lovely Erythromycin capsules my doctor prescribed made me feel 100% better. All the swelling in my throat is gone and it doesn�t hurt to swallow or eat or breathe. SWEET RELIEF. I'm still quite tired and am heading off to bed in about four minutes, but I wanted to drop a few words in here first. Another lovely weekend. Though it didn't start out that way. Dan and I had a HUGE fight on Friday. Two hours of screaming and swearing and crying into the phone. It was awful. Eventually we came to some compromises. After we hung up the phone I lay down on my bed to cry some more. About 20 minutes later he called and asked if he could come over. It was late and I was exhausted. But I knew it wouldn�t feel better until he was here and I could hug him. So he did and I did and we went to sleep wrapped around each other. We worked out a lot of things. He now has a better understanding of where I�m coming from. I have a better appreciation of his perspective (though I am still pissed that he refuses to admit when he�s wrong). It�s good. Only now, as I always do when I am forced to put all my cards on the table, I feel vulnerable. I hate not feeling like I�m in control. But I am managing. Deep breaths. One day at a time. The rest of the weekend was swimming laps, floating, watching movies, shopping, wandering around my neighbourhood, driving with the windows down and the music cranked, topped off by two very lovely dinners. Our shopping trip today ended with drinks on the patio at McGuiness with Starsky and Hutch. I sipped cranberry and vodkas as the sunshine warmed my legs under the table. Afterward we came home to watch After the Sunset. Twenty minutes into the movie I fell asleep, my head in his lap. Have I said before that this is not going to end well? Because it isn�t. Friday was only more proof of that. Someone is going to get hurt. I know this is no way to think. So I push those thoughts down and try to enjoy it for what it is. Deep breaths. One day at a time. Oh! And kisses to Mike, the creator this lovely page of Sesame Street memories. -A 9:45 p.m. - 04.10.05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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