ramanda's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i am sleeping under strange, strange skies 01.26.04 7:02pm I haven't see Dan (that's his name, in case I hadn't mentioned it) since Monday. And my heart totally skips a beat whenever I think about having dinner and cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie with him tomorrow night. I was stressing about what to make for dinner because I am low on groceries (and also low on money) until I get paid on Friday. And today he emails me to say that he's decided he's going to bring dinner with him. Which is totally what I wanted him to say. But would never have the guts to say that this early on. His wonderfulness astounds me at every turn and I sit here dumbfounded, waiting for the punch line. In an email to Kristin last night I wrote: "You know, I think maybe I didn't know it could actually be like this. Like I suspected that maybe other people had such relationships, but I didn't think anyone would ever feel that way about me. I keep waiting to find out he's married or has a criminal record or something. Heh. It just seems so strange that all of a sudden, almost out of nowhere, I've met someone who realizes how wonderful I am. The world is random and strange. But I like it." It all just seems too perfect somehow. For example, we went to the Rain Tree for dinner on our first date. As we were getting settled in the restaurant, Brown Sugar by the Stones came on. While we were chatting over our menus I realized that they weren�t just playing Brown Sugar, but all of Sticky Fingers. On top of being one of my favourite albums of all time, it was pretty much the perfect soundtrack for dinner. I may or may not believe in fate. If I believe in anything, it is most definitely rock and roll. The rock gods were smiling on us as we flirted and chatted over dinner. And that is a sign that is hard to ignore. After dinner we went to the movies. Our movie (the Life Aquatic) started late, so they were handing out free passes as we left the theatre. Perhaps the film gods were smiling too? We joked that it was someone�s way of telling us we should hang out again. We�re going out drinking with Nats and a boy she�s seeing on Saturday. Since Dan lives in Guelph, he�s going to crash here for the night. I decided today that I have to go out and buy some cute new pj�s (or maybe something a little sexier than pj�s?) for the occasion. Then tonight when I got home I got a flyer in the mail announcing that my favourite store is having huge lingerie sale. Seriously. So many coincidences. Part of me knows the world is random that that none of it means anything, but part of me feels like I�ve been living a Kubrick film. I�ve spent the first hour and a half being confused and disturbed and now everything is slotting neatly into place in the last twenty minutes. I try to be calm and go with the flow, but it's difficult. I have never been this comfortable with anyone I've dated, ever. And it's hard to find a place to exist that is somewhere between quiet skepticism and exuberant ecstasy. It doesn't help that I get conflicting messages from my friends. Some want me to step back and not get caught up. Others are getting caught up right along with me. It's the nature of the beast, I suppose. All else aside, everything about this feels right. Not right as in it will be right forever, but right as in this is exactly where I want to be right now. And that, in itself, is really quite extraordinary. -A 7:02 p.m. - 01.26.05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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