ramanda's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shake it til ya calf muscles hurt 03.10.05 2:48pm Thursday! Hello! Oh how I have missed you! I'm glad you've come to call again so soon. I see you've brought your friend March with you.* It's good to see her too! If only because February is a bad influence and March usually has April and Spring in tow. It must be rough being Thursday. Thursday is the chubby girl that gets invited out cos she brings her hot friend Friday to all the parties. Speaking of chubby girls. . . I fell off the bandwagon in February. The working out bandwagon. The eating right bandwagon. The not spending my money stupidly bandwagon. I do this every year. February 8th is my birthday and I use that as an excuse to go a little crazy for the entire month: eating what I want, buying what I want, not working out and refusing to feel guilty for any of it. Lucky for me February is a short month. I am also lucky that a month of sloth and bad eating habits didn't put back all the weight I have lost since December. I suspect that all the exercise I did before the month of slack kick-started my metabolism and allowed me to plateau instead of packing on the pounds. I have been well behaved the last week or so. Eating better. Working out more. And last night as I was setting the alarm Dan looked at me and said, "You're losing weight," then he slid his hand up my back and over my back fat and squeezed, "Right here." This morning I stood with my back to the mirror and twisted my neck around to see. And sure enough, there is definitely less back fat than there used to be. I've also noticed that my belly roll doesn't hang out over top of my pants quite as much as it used to and that more of my belly button is visible, instead of being hidden in folds of pudge. So it's working. I am not the best eater ever. I still love candy. And ice cream. And french fries. And I still eat those things when I feel like it. But I also eat a lot more vegetables. I eat cottage cheese and make fruit smoothies for breakfast. I try to watch the carbs and build some protein into every meal. Instead of sitting on the couch every night I try to get off my ass 3 - 4 times a week. And it's working. I can go up a couple flights of stairs, or walk to the store without getting winded. Lugging my laundry down to the laundry room doesn't make me sweat. My muscles are still buried under a thick layer of fat, but I can feel them getting stronger, more defined - even underneath all the pudge. I still have a double chin, but it is smaller than it used to be. The sweaters my mum bought me for Christmas don't cling at the front like they used to. And my pants? Too big. All of them. I own about 6 pairs of size 24 pants and I can pull them all off without having to undo the zipper. Funny how that feels like the biggest accomplishment of all. Someone kick me. This is so "weight loss blog" it actually hurts me to post it. In other news, where the fuck is my period? It's been so long since I had to keep track of when it was coming and going, that I kind of forget how it works. Are you supposed to count 28 days from the first day of your last period? Or the last day? Also, do you think I would make a good mother? Ha! I'm kidding about that last part. Though only because I am trying to hide that I am secretly kind of freaking out about this. Mostly because I can't quite remember when I should be getting it, which is making me worry that it's not here yet. And because getting pregnant after having sex for the first time in years? Would be just my luck. -A *Seriously? March? WTF? Most of me still feels like it's approximately January 17th. 2:48 p.m. - 03.10.05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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